A Retrospective in 2020

Hello, World.  Sometimes, people are extroverted and inclined to seek out and communicate with other people.  Sometimes, people are introverted and inclined to internalize their thoughts and not communicate with other people.  Sometimes, this goes on for the better part of a decade.  You are free to determine which type of person this author may be.

Nerd Up obviously did not achieve the goals which were optimistically proposed over seven years ago.  There never were posts in The Lecture Hall detailing the basic principles of Physics.  When trying to compose a post, there were always thoughts that someone else had already explained things better.  The urge to avoid internet arguments over why particular points were not precisely perfect overrode the desire to communicate.

This is not to say that things did not happen during this time.  Degrees were earned in Physics and in Anthropology, and a Masters degree in Anthropology was also earned.  Significant progress was made towards a Doctorate in Anthropology, including the publication of several academic journal articles and the instruction of several college level courses.  Then things ground to a halt in 2020, with no job and no significant personal progress to show for it.  Some old demons slain, some new demons remain.

There never were additional posts in The Test Kitchen, and there never were any posts in The Gaming Den, The Observation Deck, or The Viewing Stand.  Those topics are still of interest; however, those interests were never communicated via this blog.  Some games have been streamed on Twitch since May 2018, but the ability to attract and retain followers there has not materialized.  Discussion of food and subsequent posting of videos to Youtube has never occurred, and funds for travel outside of academic purposes have not been available.

2020 has now come and gone, with its coronavirus isolation and the passing of the 40^th year of my existence.  These events, combined with the ongoing reality of my existence, have led to a great deal of self contemplation.  The results of this thinking have not been great: I wish I had more to show for it and more to share from it.  I have watched some old and new anime and once again put some effort into learning Japanese, but my communication skills remain inferior to those of a normal child.  I have cooked some old and new dishes and learned some new techniques in the kitchen, but my diet and physical condition are worse now than ever before. 

Time passes, more friends and family pass, but I have not continued to make new friends and the window within which to raise a family continues to shrink ever more rapidly.  I never did find out “what I wanted to be” when I grew up.  All of my former personal relationships have their own children and seemingly happy families, and I cannot help but wonder where it was that I messed up so badly.  Still, life goes on, and one can only hope for the future to be brighter than the present.

I make no promises to deliver new content here.  I would like to have a place to leave my thoughts and to share a bit of my interests, so I do hope to at least add a little something here every month or so.  There was some readership from countries around the world for the short few months that Nerd Up was initially active – assuming that they were not merely bots returning search results – so perhaps there are some people out there who would serve to gain from reading some of my ramblings.  Hello again, World.  I’m not dead yet.